Thank you for reminding us of the value of friendship. I moved to a small, conservative town some years back. I was none too happy about it (except for the lack of traffic). I was worried I wouldn't make any friends because I'm neither conservative nor religious. And then I remembered one of my values (accountability) and my personal mantra: Never give anyone the power to break your spirit.
With that, I took action. I created a women's collective called Femme Forte. We meet up twice a month, where I provide a themed, guided conversation that promotes honesty and laughter. We leave with a big boost of energy and sustainable joy, thanks to oxytocin and anandamide. For many years, I saw friendships as just as you said -- a third-tier priority. But today, I see them as one of the most vital, enriching gifts in my life!
I recommend this effort for anyone who wants to develop more meaningful relationships. I'm an introvert, so a lot of surface small talk drains me. What I've learned is that it doesn't mean I'm not social; it means I need to socialize on a deeper level than the average person. So what did I do? I found women who were created much the same, even if they didn't realize it.
I love that you saw an opportunity to create spaces to foster connection, and you took it! How inspiring! I just watched a documentary that I think you would enjoy; it's about "civic engagement" and how important it is to "belong." The documentary is called "Join or Die" and I encourage you to check it out!
I always try to reach out to my core group of friends at least once a year. (Not counting the friends I talk to every day). Maintaining these relationships has been a major benefit for both sides. It takes no effort to send a simple text, and yet it can lead to so many wonderful conversations. Without these ties, I don't know where I'd be, especially since I don't get out much anymore.
Hi, Maya! I love the value and appreciation of true friendships. All too often, they come at a close second or a third-rate version of ourselves. As for my friendships, they truly helped me so much during middle and high schools, respectively! Nowadays, I connect through a mixture of old and new friends here on Facebook Messenger. My friendships have provided me with fun times galore, new opportunities, and most importantly, support from when I was being bullied, no question about it. I feel like I have lost some true friends though, unfortunately, and I don’t know why that is the case. I admit that I missed out on using Facebook for a long while, yet fortunately I have come back onto Facebook and began re-connecting with my friends from the past and present. That has been incredible, this is for sure. Much appreciated, Maya!
I have a “best friend” from 1st grade on, and we have never lived in the same place since graduating from high school. For many years, we spoke monthly, or less, but when we did it was like no time had passed. We took a trip without our families to celebrate our 40th birthday year. Only within the past handful of years did it dawn on me that I can easily text my friend or send her funny things that make me think of her- whenever I want! Because we grew up without cell phones or social media being part of our relationship, we seemed slow to incorporate it, but it helps me feel connected when I rarely get to see her.
We both grew up in Christian households that encouraged us to think of Jesus as our “best friend,” to which we responded by nicknaming each other B.F.O.T.J. (Best Friend Other Than Jesus), an affectionate initialism that we still use today.
Haven’t checked out your episode yet, but I will! I love A Slight Change of Plans, thank you so much for it.
Love it! Also, I love Sahil on the latest episode of A Slight Change of Plans. His comments about balance and friendship are awesome. The whole thing for me is like looking in the mirror. That feels good because I feel less alone.
All my relationships, whether professional or personal, are important to me. They both server their purpose from being able to mentor my team at work and my friend and families outside of work who I would enjoy their company any chance I can. They allow me to be who I am and I allow these relationships to allow me to express who I am.
As I have gotten better at knowing myself and who I want to be, my circle has dramatically changed. I love spending my free time enjoying it greatly. That also means if I can enjoy it with other people, I enjoy it even more. However, if I don't enjoy your company, our relationship changes. I don't feel excited to spend my free time counting the time. I do have a friend from college who, because of how much I know myself better, it's hard to relate. My sister mentioned to me it's not good to ghost people and I hardly speak to him. I would like to tell him I don't know what to do and not sure how we can spend time together.
It's very easy for me to reach out and see what my friends and family are doing. I don't hesistate to call or text them. Once I finish the things I need to do in my life, I ask them for their time and see how we can enjoy it.
Hi Maya,
Thank you for reminding us of the value of friendship. I moved to a small, conservative town some years back. I was none too happy about it (except for the lack of traffic). I was worried I wouldn't make any friends because I'm neither conservative nor religious. And then I remembered one of my values (accountability) and my personal mantra: Never give anyone the power to break your spirit.
With that, I took action. I created a women's collective called Femme Forte. We meet up twice a month, where I provide a themed, guided conversation that promotes honesty and laughter. We leave with a big boost of energy and sustainable joy, thanks to oxytocin and anandamide. For many years, I saw friendships as just as you said -- a third-tier priority. But today, I see them as one of the most vital, enriching gifts in my life!
I recommend this effort for anyone who wants to develop more meaningful relationships. I'm an introvert, so a lot of surface small talk drains me. What I've learned is that it doesn't mean I'm not social; it means I need to socialize on a deeper level than the average person. So what did I do? I found women who were created much the same, even if they didn't realize it.
Thanks so much for all you do!
I love that you saw an opportunity to create spaces to foster connection, and you took it! How inspiring! I just watched a documentary that I think you would enjoy; it's about "civic engagement" and how important it is to "belong." The documentary is called "Join or Die" and I encourage you to check it out!
I always try to reach out to my core group of friends at least once a year. (Not counting the friends I talk to every day). Maintaining these relationships has been a major benefit for both sides. It takes no effort to send a simple text, and yet it can lead to so many wonderful conversations. Without these ties, I don't know where I'd be, especially since I don't get out much anymore.
Hi, Maya! I love the value and appreciation of true friendships. All too often, they come at a close second or a third-rate version of ourselves. As for my friendships, they truly helped me so much during middle and high schools, respectively! Nowadays, I connect through a mixture of old and new friends here on Facebook Messenger. My friendships have provided me with fun times galore, new opportunities, and most importantly, support from when I was being bullied, no question about it. I feel like I have lost some true friends though, unfortunately, and I don’t know why that is the case. I admit that I missed out on using Facebook for a long while, yet fortunately I have come back onto Facebook and began re-connecting with my friends from the past and present. That has been incredible, this is for sure. Much appreciated, Maya!
I have a “best friend” from 1st grade on, and we have never lived in the same place since graduating from high school. For many years, we spoke monthly, or less, but when we did it was like no time had passed. We took a trip without our families to celebrate our 40th birthday year. Only within the past handful of years did it dawn on me that I can easily text my friend or send her funny things that make me think of her- whenever I want! Because we grew up without cell phones or social media being part of our relationship, we seemed slow to incorporate it, but it helps me feel connected when I rarely get to see her.
We both grew up in Christian households that encouraged us to think of Jesus as our “best friend,” to which we responded by nicknaming each other B.F.O.T.J. (Best Friend Other Than Jesus), an affectionate initialism that we still use today.
Haven’t checked out your episode yet, but I will! I love A Slight Change of Plans, thank you so much for it.
Love it! Also, I love Sahil on the latest episode of A Slight Change of Plans. His comments about balance and friendship are awesome. The whole thing for me is like looking in the mirror. That feels good because I feel less alone.
All my relationships, whether professional or personal, are important to me. They both server their purpose from being able to mentor my team at work and my friend and families outside of work who I would enjoy their company any chance I can. They allow me to be who I am and I allow these relationships to allow me to express who I am.
As I have gotten better at knowing myself and who I want to be, my circle has dramatically changed. I love spending my free time enjoying it greatly. That also means if I can enjoy it with other people, I enjoy it even more. However, if I don't enjoy your company, our relationship changes. I don't feel excited to spend my free time counting the time. I do have a friend from college who, because of how much I know myself better, it's hard to relate. My sister mentioned to me it's not good to ghost people and I hardly speak to him. I would like to tell him I don't know what to do and not sure how we can spend time together.
It's very easy for me to reach out and see what my friends and family are doing. I don't hesistate to call or text them. Once I finish the things I need to do in my life, I ask them for their time and see how we can enjoy it.